Let's talk about sex, baby. Yeah, I said it. What? Does that make you uncomfortable? Well get over it.
I'm sitting in my bed right now watching the MTV show "16 & Pregnant." A lot of people think this is a deplorable show, and in all honesty it sends some bad messages: get pregnant and MTV will finance it, domestic abuse is fine as long as you're in looooove, marriage will fix everything. Obviously those things are not quantities I would want young girls to learn from this show, but there are more important lessons to be learned here: it only takes one time to get knocked up and your very young boyfriend may not be the prince you think he is. These girls go through a lot of shit and it does not make motherhood look easy. It gives young audiences a pretty good perspective of what teenage pregnancy really means.
I just do not understand the concept of having unprotected sex. Buy a five dollar box of condoms or pay thousands of dollars in medical bills? And a lot of girls say, "well talking to my parents about birth control is awkward so I'd just rather not." Yeah, you're right, it's awkward as hell. But would you rather say, "hey, mom I should probably go to the gynecologist to get on birth control" OR "hey, mom Paulie Bleaker, over here, got me pregnant and I should probably go to the gynecologist to get an ultrasound."??? I'll take option one any day.
All I'm saying is, I'm 20 years old. I know that I am going to be a great mom one day, but that day is not anywhere near today. No baby is a mistake, I would never say that, but the younger you are, the harder it is.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Do Not Anger The Stress Monster
My hair is a dead giveaway of my mood. If it is straightened, I'm having a good day because I actually spent the 45 minutes it takes to make it straight. I love my hair straight, I think it's a pretty look. If my hair is air-dried curly and down that means I am in a good mood, but I want to chill and relax. That happens quite a lot during the Summer months. If my hair is in a braid to the side it means that I wanted to straighten my hair but I'm having a busy day and didn't have time.
But if my hair is up? Run. At the first sign of stress and/or anger my hair immediately goes up. If it's in a braided bun it's probably best to avoid eye contact because there's a 136.78% chance that I will attempt to physically harm you. Want to take a guess what my hair looks like right this second? Here's a hint: I was up until 4 am writing a paper, I also had a paper due on Wednesday. Today I had to register for classes and of the 6 classes I planned to take in the fall 1 was open by my registration time causing me to have to take my summer classes in the fall putting me a semester behind where I aimed to be. Words cannot express my frustration. I want to crawl under a rock and emerge only when this nightmare of a week is sufficiently repressed in my brain. In light of the fact that I have yet to spot a large enough rock, I just have the serenity prayer on repeat in my mind.
But if my hair is up? Run. At the first sign of stress and/or anger my hair immediately goes up. If it's in a braided bun it's probably best to avoid eye contact because there's a 136.78% chance that I will attempt to physically harm you. Want to take a guess what my hair looks like right this second? Here's a hint: I was up until 4 am writing a paper, I also had a paper due on Wednesday. Today I had to register for classes and of the 6 classes I planned to take in the fall 1 was open by my registration time causing me to have to take my summer classes in the fall putting me a semester behind where I aimed to be. Words cannot express my frustration. I want to crawl under a rock and emerge only when this nightmare of a week is sufficiently repressed in my brain. In light of the fact that I have yet to spot a large enough rock, I just have the serenity prayer on repeat in my mind.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Guilty Pleasures
Do you have those songs, shows, movies, etc. that you really love but you know other people would/do totally make fun of you for loving? I sure do. And you know what, I'm fine with that. I'm just fine with the fact that I am a pale-ass, suburban white girl and my theme song in life is Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta. If you see me blasting that shit in my car, you go ahead and stare all you want because I'm not turning it down and I'm not going to stop rapping along (you're damn straight I know all the lyrics). Yeah it's a horribly vulgar song, but sometimes I think I'm thug. I may look stupid as hell to you, but I feel awesome when I hear that song. Really gets my blood pumping. Makes me want to hit faulty office equipment with baseball bats and shit. I do what I want.
Also I love the show Sons of Anarchy. I am fully aware that everyone else thinks that's lame, but get over it. I am enthralled. It's based off of Hamlet which is also one of my favorite plays. So mix the Hamlet archetype with a sexy, brooding, angry-but-good-hearted biker and I'm hooked. So get off my nuts and let me enjoy my peaceful downtime filled with the woes of conscious-driven motorcycle gang members.
Lastly, I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I love Harry Potter. The books, the movies, the theme park. My mom read me the books as a kid and I listen to them on audiobooks as an adult. And I am not the slightest bit ashamed about it. Don't even pretend you didn't wait for an owl to show up at your house, Hogwarts letter in hand, when you were 11. That would have been mind-blowing and you would have been stoked. Swish and flick.
Lastly, I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I love Harry Potter. The books, the movies, the theme park. My mom read me the books as a kid and I listen to them on audiobooks as an adult. And I am not the slightest bit ashamed about it. Don't even pretend you didn't wait for an owl to show up at your house, Hogwarts letter in hand, when you were 11. That would have been mind-blowing and you would have been stoked. Swish and flick.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Sixteen Candles
Tomorrow my little cousin, Haley will turn 16. THAT IS SO WEIRD. I can't believe how grown up she is. I blinked and she went from 4 years old to this incredibly beautiful, smart, funny and amazing young woman. I have never seen someone dance the way she does; it's like she just transforms to the music. I am the klutz of klutzes and here I'm related to this perfectly poised and graceful ballerina. I would be jealous, but I don't know if I would be able to put in the work she does. The commitment it takes to be a serious dancer in high school is astounding but she endures it on top of making exemplary grades. One day everyone will know her name and I'll get to say, "That's my baby cousin." I hope she has a wonderful birthday (even though she has a performance) and I know that 16 is going to be a fantastic year for my girl.
All this 16 year old talk has gotten me remembering my life at 16. I'm not going to lie, when I was 16 my life was badass. I had the best friends, the coolest mom, the party house and I was the first one to be able to drive. As soon as I got those car keys I was home to sleep and even that was rare. I taught my friend Nick how to drive in my car. I used to drive around with my windows down, Lil Wayne blasting and my bass shaking other people's cars. Yeah, I was that guy. Catherine and I were always late to school, but her mom used to make us these bomb as hell sausage biscuits in the mornings so being late was always worth it. I used my car an extra room, there were more clothes in that damn 4-Runner than in both of my closets combined. People criticized this but I'll have you know that I was always warm on cold days because I always had extra layers.
But I really did have the world's greatest friends. And I am very proud to say that I have maintained almost all those friendships. We are all in different places now but that doesn't make much of a difference. We did some crazy and fantastically stupid shit in high school, but by the grace of God we lived to tell the tales. They are still some of the coolest people I've ever had the pleasure to meet.
But I really did have the world's greatest friends. And I am very proud to say that I have maintained almost all those friendships. We are all in different places now but that doesn't make much of a difference. We did some crazy and fantastically stupid shit in high school, but by the grace of God we lived to tell the tales. They are still some of the coolest people I've ever had the pleasure to meet.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Where Are You, Cary?
First of all, there are just a few things that have been weighing on my mind today. Sort of pet peeves, if you will.
1. Leggings are not pants. Ever. And you wore panties under them? Really? If you can see them, we can see them.
2. Stealing someone's parking spot is really not nice. Especially if you mean mug while you do it. We all have classes to get to. Hence me waiting for the parking spot. So I apologize for strongly worded note you found on your windshield, but you know you deserved it.
3. If you're going to flirt with me, I would like you to ask me out. I'm bored a lot and I would much rather be on a date. So let's avoid the friend zone and just date. Ok? Ok.
4. Don't lie. Just don't. Especially for stupid reasons. You won't get in trouble if you tell the truth, lying just wastes a lot of other peoples' time.
Whew. I feel MUCH better now that those things out. On a happier note: I am winding down my day by watching one of my all-time favorite movies, An Affair to Remember. In my Media Communications class yesterday, we had a discussion about how men in the media just aren't like Cary Grant anymore and ever since then I've had a craving to watch this movie. And as I watch it I just want to know, where have all the Cary Grants gone? He was handsome, yes, but he was also so smooth, debonair and a true romantic. You don't see that too much in Hollywood these days. Sure, we have some good looking men these days, I mean wouldn't kick Jake Gyllenhaal out of bed for eating crackers, but he doesn't really strike me as the Cary Grant type. Come on? Is it too much to ask for a guy to meet me, leave his sugar mama fiancè, and arrange to meet me atop the Empire State Building once he has enough money to support us with his paintings? Maybe not just like that...I'll settle for an already single guy, who's an unemployed student, and meeting at the coffee shop. Seems easy enough. I just want a little old school romance in my life. So now, I leave you and return to my freshly popped kettle corn and the total chick flick (from which all men could get tips) that is An Affair to Remember.
1. Leggings are not pants. Ever. And you wore panties under them? Really? If you can see them, we can see them.
2. Stealing someone's parking spot is really not nice. Especially if you mean mug while you do it. We all have classes to get to. Hence me waiting for the parking spot. So I apologize for strongly worded note you found on your windshield, but you know you deserved it.
3. If you're going to flirt with me, I would like you to ask me out. I'm bored a lot and I would much rather be on a date. So let's avoid the friend zone and just date. Ok? Ok.
4. Don't lie. Just don't. Especially for stupid reasons. You won't get in trouble if you tell the truth, lying just wastes a lot of other peoples' time.
Whew. I feel MUCH better now that those things out. On a happier note: I am winding down my day by watching one of my all-time favorite movies, An Affair to Remember. In my Media Communications class yesterday, we had a discussion about how men in the media just aren't like Cary Grant anymore and ever since then I've had a craving to watch this movie. And as I watch it I just want to know, where have all the Cary Grants gone? He was handsome, yes, but he was also so smooth, debonair and a true romantic. You don't see that too much in Hollywood these days. Sure, we have some good looking men these days, I mean wouldn't kick Jake Gyllenhaal out of bed for eating crackers, but he doesn't really strike me as the Cary Grant type. Come on? Is it too much to ask for a guy to meet me, leave his sugar mama fiancè, and arrange to meet me atop the Empire State Building once he has enough money to support us with his paintings? Maybe not just like that...I'll settle for an already single guy, who's an unemployed student, and meeting at the coffee shop. Seems easy enough. I just want a little old school romance in my life. So now, I leave you and return to my freshly popped kettle corn and the total chick flick (from which all men could get tips) that is An Affair to Remember.
Monday, March 21, 2011
People Dying Everywhere, People Living In Despair....
BUT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY (to myself)
That's right, it's my birthday. I am officially no longer a teenager! Much to the chagrin of my parents, I turned 20 years old today. I don't know about you, but I love birthdays. It's the only day out of the entire year where you get to use the excuse "because it's my birthday" in any scenario. Case and point: this morning I got up and went straight for the fridge where my delicious black forest cake (courtesy of my mother) is now residing, cut myself a piece and sat down next to my roommate to enjoy some breakfast and an episode of Tabitha's Salon Takeover. As anyone would, she looks over, raises her eyebrows and says, "cake for breakfast?" I merely replied: "Naturally. Because it's my birthday."
One of my favorite parts of the day was arriving to my office and being greeting with the cascarone tradition. Or in other words, having my awesome colleagues crack confetti eggs on my head. Then we all dug into a delicious chocolate creme pie! Yum! All around a great, fun, chocolate-filled birthday.
The most common milestone birthday question is "do you feel different?" On every other big birthday the answer to that question has been "no." Today, however, I have found myself answering in the affirmative. I really do feel different. It hasn't been an overnight transformation, so to speak, but I have really started to realize it recently. I just look at certain people around me who focus solely on having fun all the time and I just find that unappealing. I find it much more exciting to focus on school and graduating as soon as possible to actually get out and have a life. I guess I just have a lot of goals for my future and I kind of want to get a move on! Or maybe I'm just bored haha. Either way, I'm ready for the next, adult chapter in my life.
That's right, it's my birthday. I am officially no longer a teenager! Much to the chagrin of my parents, I turned 20 years old today. I don't know about you, but I love birthdays. It's the only day out of the entire year where you get to use the excuse "because it's my birthday" in any scenario. Case and point: this morning I got up and went straight for the fridge where my delicious black forest cake (courtesy of my mother) is now residing, cut myself a piece and sat down next to my roommate to enjoy some breakfast and an episode of Tabitha's Salon Takeover. As anyone would, she looks over, raises her eyebrows and says, "cake for breakfast?" I merely replied: "Naturally. Because it's my birthday."
One of my favorite parts of the day was arriving to my office and being greeting with the cascarone tradition. Or in other words, having my awesome colleagues crack confetti eggs on my head. Then we all dug into a delicious chocolate creme pie! Yum! All around a great, fun, chocolate-filled birthday.
The most common milestone birthday question is "do you feel different?" On every other big birthday the answer to that question has been "no." Today, however, I have found myself answering in the affirmative. I really do feel different. It hasn't been an overnight transformation, so to speak, but I have really started to realize it recently. I just look at certain people around me who focus solely on having fun all the time and I just find that unappealing. I find it much more exciting to focus on school and graduating as soon as possible to actually get out and have a life. I guess I just have a lot of goals for my future and I kind of want to get a move on! Or maybe I'm just bored haha. Either way, I'm ready for the next, adult chapter in my life.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
The Jordan Catalano Effect
I was having a conversation with a guy the other day and trying to explain to him why nice, wholesome, generally happy girls feel the need to chase after guys who act like assholes. This centuries-old concept can be described in two very appealing words: Jordan Catalano. Rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? For those for you who may not be familiar with Jordan Catalano-get on my level and watch 80's coming-of-age beauty that is My So Called Life. Jordan Catalano (played by a pre-famous Jared Leto) is the angsty, brooding, melodramatic love interest of overly hormonal Angela. Angela comes from the "American Dream" type of family: 2.5 children, suburbs, white picket fence...the works. She has everything going for her, right? She could get any cookie-cutter guy around and who does she choose? The one who won't give her the time of day. The one who has more problems than she has solutions. The one with so little background information that she literally has to spy to gather "facts" about the "love of her life." That, my dear friends, is The Jordan Catalano Effect.Girls want guys that they have to fix. It's stupid and it's totally unhealthy. For some reason a challenge is attractive. You don't want her? That makes her want you more and now she's not going to stop until she gets what she wants.
Personally, I DON'T GET IT. Why on Earth do you want to date a guy that continually pushes you away? Just get a new dude. Or eat a grilled cheese, a pint of blue bell and maybe grab some mini muffins to drown your sorrows and THEN get a new dude. I won't deny-the guy's a fox. As are most of the men who fill Jordan Catalano mold. But ladies, please!, hunky does not a husband make. Just look at them. What's wrong with that? The Jonas Brothers use that tactic, right? And from my mere two decades on this planet I can tell you that you will never ever ever ever never fix him. IT AIN'T GONA HAPPEN. You're just wasting your childbearing years on some brodouche who doesn't care enough about you to fix HIMSELF. You may be into all the drama that a Jordan Catalano brings to the table, but I just find it tiring. I have a hard time mustering the energy to go to the grocery store and do laundry in the same day, add saving someone's brooding soul to the list? No, thanks.
Personally, I DON'T GET IT. Why on Earth do you want to date a guy that continually pushes you away? Just get a new dude. Or eat a grilled cheese, a pint of blue bell and maybe grab some mini muffins to drown your sorrows and THEN get a new dude. I won't deny-the guy's a fox. As are most of the men who fill Jordan Catalano mold. But ladies, please!, hunky does not a husband make. Just look at them. What's wrong with that? The Jonas Brothers use that tactic, right? And from my mere two decades on this planet I can tell you that you will never ever ever ever never fix him. IT AIN'T GONA HAPPEN. You're just wasting your childbearing years on some brodouche who doesn't care enough about you to fix HIMSELF. You may be into all the drama that a Jordan Catalano brings to the table, but I just find it tiring. I have a hard time mustering the energy to go to the grocery store and do laundry in the same day, add saving someone's brooding soul to the list? No, thanks.
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| Say it with me now...Jordan Catalanooo |
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