Kin Folk

It's been a hot minute since I last posted! You may be thinking "she must just be having an amazing summer filled with fun and merriment." Well you would be mistaken. I'm doing a lot of summer school and my internship so I really do not have time to do anything but study and sleep. Ah..the life I lead.

I decided to make this post about something that is a new pseudo obsession of mine: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding on TLC. It is awful. But I just can't seem to look away when I stumble onto a new episode. The show centers around the Irish Traveler community in the UK and depicts their lavish, and oh so tacky, weddings and other rites of passage. I think part of the reason I watch it is because I come from a long line of Irish Travelers. I just keep thinking "that could be my life." I mean, let's face it, Irish families multiply at a rapid rate so there's a good chance we're related to some of these people. I'm twenty years old so apparently if I were living among the Travelers I would be a spinster by now. That, or I'd be on my third wedding anniversary with two or three kids running around and one on the way. NO, THANK YOU.

Remember how I said these blessed Traveler events are tacky? I say that because I don't think there has yet been a word invented to truly encapsulate the horror that is a wedding dress in this gypsy community. I'll just let you be the judge. This darling girl is 16 years old and she's marrying her prince charming. Read: they've known each other all of three months and he won her heart by buying her a trailer of their very own that she can clean all day long while he goes to work AND he was late to the wedding because he was down the street getting drunk with his friends. (Man, I wish that dude was still on the market. He sounds like a goddamn champ.)

That's her with her bridesmaids. Cute.

This girl gives a whole new meaning to the term "wedding glow." She had LED lights placed all through her dress and vale. I don't know why Vera Wang hasn't jumped on that bandwagon yet.

The show isn't all bad, it's a nice insight into the life of an Irish Traveler. I think if they hadn't centered it around the mating rituals I could take it more seriously. STOP wearing the nutty dresses and then maybe people won't discriminate against you. I don't mean they need to conform totally to mainstream society, but if they want so badly to be accepted don't wear that dress to a church. Just sayin.

Save The Drama For Yo Mamma

Today is Mother's Day and I hope you are all celebrating by telling your moms how awesome they are or by having your kiddos smolder you with hugs and kisses.

I am very sad because I can't be with my mommy today but I will be seeing her beautiful face on Thursday and hopefully I'll be able to make up for it then. I hope she's having a good day despite my absence! I sure do miss you, momma. I can't wait to come home even if it's only for a few days. My mom is hands down the best mom I could ask for. She's always there for me when I need her and she is a wonderful best friend.

Say What?

So there I am, minding my own business, walking through the HEB parking lot when all of a sudden from behind me I hear, "Yo, mommy what's good?" Now, I can overlook the complete lack of English speaking grammar in that question; I can even look past the fact that it was yet another sleazy come on from a hommie at the Riverside HEB. What I had a hard time swallowing was the word, "mommy." Boy, I ain't yo momma.

Apparently, among my generation, a trend has formed in which you are to refer to your significant other (more often than not, in a strictly physical situation) using the slang terms "mommy" or "daddy." Come on. I can't be the only one that finds that disgusting. I have one daddy and his name is Terrence Alan Grisham. I have called him daddy since I could speak and that will forever change. So the thought of referring to a man friend as "daddy" makes me want to drive my ass straight to therapy (or confession...whichever is closest). So, seriously, who thought this was sexy? Why would I want a guy looking at me and immediately thinking "mom!" Oedipal complex much? DEAL. BREAKER. I have a name and if you haven't asked it yet there are a vast number of adjectives you could in the meantime. Check your birth certificate-if my name does not appear, you don't get to call me "momma."

Attack Attack!

Very true to form, in times of great stress I am getting sick. I can absolutely guarantee that I will have strep throat by the end of the week. I can feel strep coming from a mile away. It's right on schedule. I get strep like clockwork every semester so I like to keep a little penicillin handy so I can start before I have time to get to a doctor. And considering that I won't have time to see a doctor until the afternoon of the 16th, I'd say my system is pretty smart. When my tonsils attack I like to be right there to attack back. People tell me all the time I should just get them taken out and to those people I say, I tried, but then I got strep. And my father saw that as a sign that I shouldn't have surgery. So here we are.

Aside from getting sick, I'm having a rather good day! I'm still very stressed, but I have made peace with the fact that it's just not going to let up for a while so I may as well just get used to the constant brick on my chest. That being realized has allowed me to take today off for some Barton Springs fun. I was recently elected Vice President of the St. Edward's Communication Society and we all wanted to have an end of year social so we picked a day at Barton. It was very fun! The sun was shining, we had a great picnic, and good company. It was very relaxing and a nice way to end the weekend.

Caroline, Me, Ilse, Angela, Trisha, Bea

To end my night I'm just going to drink lots of water and orange juice while watching Law&Order SVU (because there's always a marathon on tv) and My So Called Life. Because those shows have so much in common....Whatever, I just have diverse tastes and I'm fine with that. Get on my level.

Let's Get Real

Let's talk about sex, baby. Yeah, I said it. What? Does that make you uncomfortable? Well get over it.

I'm sitting in my bed right now watching the MTV show "16 & Pregnant." A lot of people think this is a deplorable show, and in all honesty it sends some bad messages: get pregnant and MTV will finance it, domestic abuse is fine as long as you're in looooove, marriage will fix everything. Obviously those things are not quantities I would want young girls to learn from this show, but there are more important lessons to be learned here: it only takes one time to get knocked up and your very young boyfriend may not be the prince you think he is. These girls go through a lot of shit and it does not make motherhood look easy. It gives young audiences a pretty good perspective of what teenage pregnancy really means.

I just do not understand the concept of having unprotected sex. Buy a five dollar box of condoms or pay thousands of dollars in medical bills? And a lot of girls say, "well talking to my parents about birth control is awkward so I'd just rather not." Yeah, you're right, it's awkward as hell. But would you rather say, "hey, mom I should probably go to the gynecologist to get on birth control" OR "hey, mom Paulie Bleaker, over here, got me pregnant and I should probably go to the gynecologist to get an ultrasound."??? I'll take option one any day.

All I'm saying is, I'm 20 years old. I know that I am going to be a great mom one day, but that day is not anywhere near today. No baby is a mistake, I would never say that, but the younger you are, the harder it is.

Do Not Anger The Stress Monster

My hair is a dead giveaway of my mood. If it is straightened, I'm having a good day because I actually spent the 45 minutes it takes to make it straight. I love my hair straight, I think it's a pretty look. If my hair is air-dried curly and down that means I am in a good mood, but I want to chill and relax. That happens quite a lot during the Summer months. If my hair is in a braid to the side it means that I wanted to straighten my hair but I'm having a busy day and didn't have time.

But if my hair is up? Run. At the first sign of stress and/or anger my hair immediately goes up. If it's in a braided bun it's probably best to avoid eye contact because there's a 136.78% chance that I will attempt to physically harm you. Want to take a guess what my hair looks like right this second? Here's a hint: I was up until 4 am writing a paper, I also had a paper due on Wednesday. Today I had to register for classes and of the 6 classes I planned to take in the fall 1 was open by my registration time causing me to have to take my summer classes in the fall putting me a semester behind where I aimed to be. Words cannot express my frustration. I want to crawl under a rock and emerge only when this nightmare of a week is sufficiently repressed in my brain. In light of the fact that I have yet to spot a large enough rock, I just have the serenity prayer on repeat in my mind.

Guilty Pleasures

Do you have those songs, shows, movies, etc. that you really love but you know other people would/do totally make fun of you for loving? I sure do. And you know what, I'm fine with that. I'm just fine with the fact that I am a pale-ass, suburban white girl and my theme song in life is Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta. If you see me blasting that shit in my car, you go ahead and stare all you want because I'm not turning it down and I'm not going to stop rapping along (you're damn straight I know all the lyrics). Yeah it's a horribly vulgar song, but sometimes I think I'm thug. I may look stupid as hell to you, but I feel awesome when I hear that song. Really gets my blood pumping. Makes me want to hit faulty office equipment with baseball bats and shit. I do what I want.

Also I love the show Sons of Anarchy. I am fully aware that everyone else thinks that's lame, but get over it. I am enthralled. It's based off of Hamlet which is also one of my favorite plays. So mix the Hamlet archetype with a sexy, brooding, angry-but-good-hearted biker and I'm hooked. So get off my nuts and let me enjoy my peaceful downtime filled with the woes of conscious-driven motorcycle gang members.

Lastly, I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I love Harry Potter. The books, the movies, the theme park. My mom read me the books as a kid and I listen to them on audiobooks as an adult. And I am not the slightest bit ashamed about it. Don't even pretend you didn't wait for an owl to show up at your house, Hogwarts letter in hand, when you were 11. That would have been mind-blowing and you would have been stoked. Swish and flick.