Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Let's Get Real

Let's talk about sex, baby. Yeah, I said it. What? Does that make you uncomfortable? Well get over it.

I'm sitting in my bed right now watching the MTV show "16 & Pregnant." A lot of people think this is a deplorable show, and in all honesty it sends some bad messages: get pregnant and MTV will finance it, domestic abuse is fine as long as you're in looooove, marriage will fix everything. Obviously those things are not quantities I would want young girls to learn from this show, but there are more important lessons to be learned here: it only takes one time to get knocked up and your very young boyfriend may not be the prince you think he is. These girls go through a lot of shit and it does not make motherhood look easy. It gives young audiences a pretty good perspective of what teenage pregnancy really means.

I just do not understand the concept of having unprotected sex. Buy a five dollar box of condoms or pay thousands of dollars in medical bills? And a lot of girls say, "well talking to my parents about birth control is awkward so I'd just rather not." Yeah, you're right, it's awkward as hell. But would you rather say, "hey, mom I should probably go to the gynecologist to get on birth control" OR "hey, mom Paulie Bleaker, over here, got me pregnant and I should probably go to the gynecologist to get an ultrasound."??? I'll take option one any day.

All I'm saying is, I'm 20 years old. I know that I am going to be a great mom one day, but that day is not anywhere near today. No baby is a mistake, I would never say that, but the younger you are, the harder it is.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Do Not Anger The Stress Monster

My hair is a dead giveaway of my mood. If it is straightened, I'm having a good day because I actually spent the 45 minutes it takes to make it straight. I love my hair straight, I think it's a pretty look. If my hair is air-dried curly and down that means I am in a good mood, but I want to chill and relax. That happens quite a lot during the Summer months. If my hair is in a braid to the side it means that I wanted to straighten my hair but I'm having a busy day and didn't have time.

But if my hair is up? Run. At the first sign of stress and/or anger my hair immediately goes up. If it's in a braided bun it's probably best to avoid eye contact because there's a 136.78% chance that I will attempt to physically harm you. Want to take a guess what my hair looks like right this second? Here's a hint: I was up until 4 am writing a paper, I also had a paper due on Wednesday. Today I had to register for classes and of the 6 classes I planned to take in the fall 1 was open by my registration time causing me to have to take my summer classes in the fall putting me a semester behind where I aimed to be. Words cannot express my frustration. I want to crawl under a rock and emerge only when this nightmare of a week is sufficiently repressed in my brain. In light of the fact that I have yet to spot a large enough rock, I just have the serenity prayer on repeat in my mind.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Guilty Pleasures

Do you have those songs, shows, movies, etc. that you really love but you know other people would/do totally make fun of you for loving? I sure do. And you know what, I'm fine with that. I'm just fine with the fact that I am a pale-ass, suburban white girl and my theme song in life is Damn It Feels Good To Be a Gangsta. If you see me blasting that shit in my car, you go ahead and stare all you want because I'm not turning it down and I'm not going to stop rapping along (you're damn straight I know all the lyrics). Yeah it's a horribly vulgar song, but sometimes I think I'm thug. I may look stupid as hell to you, but I feel awesome when I hear that song. Really gets my blood pumping. Makes me want to hit faulty office equipment with baseball bats and shit. I do what I want.
Also I love the show Sons of Anarchy. I am fully aware that everyone else thinks that's lame, but get over it. I am enthralled. It's based off of Hamlet which is also one of my favorite plays. So mix the Hamlet archetype with a sexy, brooding, angry-but-good-hearted biker and I'm hooked. So get off my nuts and let me enjoy my peaceful downtime filled with the woes of conscious-driven motorcycle gang members.

Lastly, I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I love Harry Potter. The books, the movies, the theme park. My mom read me the books as a kid and I listen to them on audiobooks as an adult. And I am not the slightest bit ashamed about it. Don't even pretend you didn't wait for an owl to show up at your house, Hogwarts letter in hand, when you were 11. That would have been mind-blowing and you would have been stoked. Swish and flick.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Sixteen Candles

Tomorrow my little cousin, Haley will turn 16. THAT IS SO WEIRD. I can't believe how grown up she is. I blinked and she went from 4 years old to this incredibly beautiful, smart, funny and amazing young woman. I have never seen someone dance the way she does; it's like she just transforms to the music. I am the klutz of klutzes and here I'm related to this perfectly poised and graceful ballerina. I would be jealous, but I don't know if I would be able to put in the work she does. The commitment it takes to be a serious dancer in high school is astounding but she endures it on top of making exemplary grades. One day everyone will know her name and I'll get to say, "That's my baby cousin." I hope she has a wonderful birthday (even though she has a performance) and I know that 16 is going to be a fantastic year for my girl.
All this 16 year old talk has gotten me remembering my life at 16. I'm not going to lie, when I was 16 my life was badass. I had the best friends, the coolest mom, the party house and I was the first one to be able to drive. As soon as I got those car keys I was home to sleep and even that was rare. I taught my friend Nick how to drive in my car. I used to drive around with my windows down, Lil Wayne blasting and my bass shaking other people's cars. Yeah, I was that guy. Catherine and I were always late to school, but her mom used to make us these bomb as hell sausage biscuits in the mornings so being late was always worth it.  I used my car an extra room, there were more clothes in that damn 4-Runner than in both of my closets combined. People criticized this but I'll have you know that I was always warm on cold days because I always had extra layers.

But I really did have the world's greatest friends. And I am very proud to say that I have maintained almost all those friendships. We are all in different places now but that doesn't make much of a difference. We did some crazy and fantastically stupid shit in high school, but by the grace of God we lived to tell the tales. They are still some of the coolest people I've ever had the pleasure to meet.