Thursday, March 24, 2011

Where Are You, Cary?

First of all, there are just a few things that have been weighing on my mind today. Sort of pet peeves, if you will.

1. Leggings are not pants. Ever. And you wore panties under them? Really? If you can see them, we can see them.
2. Stealing someone's parking spot is really not nice. Especially if you mean mug while you do it. We all have classes to get to. Hence me waiting for the parking spot. So I apologize for strongly worded note you found on your windshield, but you know you deserved it.
3. If you're going to flirt with me, I would like you to ask me out. I'm bored a lot and I would much rather be on a date. So let's avoid the friend zone and just date. Ok? Ok.
4. Don't lie. Just don't. Especially for stupid reasons. You won't get in trouble if you tell the truth, lying just wastes a lot of other peoples' time.

Whew. I feel MUCH better now that those things out. On a happier note: I am winding down my day by watching one of my all-time favorite movies, An Affair to Remember. In my Media Communications class yesterday, we had a discussion about how men in the media just aren't like Cary Grant anymore and ever since then I've had a craving to watch this movie. And as I watch it I just want to know, where have all the Cary Grants gone? He was handsome, yes, but he was also so smooth, debonair and a true romantic. You don't see that too much in Hollywood these days. Sure, we have some good looking men these days, I mean wouldn't kick Jake Gyllenhaal out of bed for eating crackers, but he doesn't really strike me as the Cary Grant type. Come on? Is it too much to ask for a guy to meet me, leave his sugar mama fiancè, and arrange to meet me atop the Empire State Building once he has enough money to support us with his paintings? Maybe not just like that...I'll settle for an already single guy, who's an unemployed student, and meeting at the coffee shop. Seems easy enough. I just want a little old school romance in my life. So now, I leave you and return to my freshly popped kettle corn and the total chick flick (from which all men could get tips) that is An Affair to Remember.

Monday, March 21, 2011

People Dying Everywhere, People Living In Despair....


That's right, it's my birthday. I am officially no longer a teenager! Much to the chagrin of my parents, I turned 20 years old today. I don't know about you, but I love birthdays. It's the only day out of the entire year where you get to use the excuse "because it's my birthday" in any scenario. Case and point: this morning I got up and went straight for the fridge where my delicious black forest cake (courtesy of my mother) is now residing, cut myself a piece and sat down next to my roommate to enjoy some breakfast and an episode of Tabitha's Salon Takeover. As anyone would, she looks over, raises her eyebrows and says, "cake for breakfast?" I merely replied: "Naturally. Because it's my birthday."

One of my favorite parts of the day was arriving to my office and being greeting with the cascarone tradition. Or in other words, having my awesome colleagues crack confetti eggs on my head. Then we all dug into a delicious chocolate creme pie! Yum! All around a great, fun, chocolate-filled birthday.  

The most common milestone birthday question is "do you feel different?" On every other big birthday the answer to that question has been "no." Today, however, I have found myself answering in the affirmative. I really do feel different. It hasn't been an overnight transformation, so to speak, but I have really started to realize it recently. I just look at certain people around me who focus solely on having fun all the time and I just find that unappealing. I find it much more exciting to focus on school and graduating as soon as possible to actually get out and have a life. I guess I just have a lot of goals for my future and I kind of want to get a move on! Or maybe I'm just bored haha. Either way, I'm ready for the next, adult chapter in my life.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Jordan Catalano Effect

I was having a conversation with a guy the other day and trying to explain to him why nice, wholesome, generally happy girls feel the need to chase after guys who act like assholes. This centuries-old concept can be described in two very appealing words: Jordan Catalano. Rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? For those for you who may not be familiar with Jordan Catalano-get on my level and watch 80's coming-of-age beauty that is My So Called Life. Jordan Catalano (played by a pre-famous Jared Leto) is the angsty, brooding, melodramatic love interest of overly hormonal Angela. Angela comes from the "American Dream" type of family: 2.5 children, suburbs, white picket fence...the works. She has everything going for her, right? She could get any cookie-cutter guy around and who does she choose? The one who won't give her the time of day. The one who has more problems than she has solutions. The one with so little background information that she literally has to spy to gather "facts" about the "love of her life." That, my dear friends, is The Jordan Catalano Effect.Girls want guys that they have to fix. It's stupid and it's totally unhealthy. For some reason a challenge is attractive. You don't want her? That makes her want you more and now she's not going to stop until she gets what she wants.

Personally, I DON'T GET IT. Why on Earth do you want to date a guy that continually pushes you away? Just get a new dude. Or eat a grilled cheese, a pint of blue bell and maybe grab some mini muffins to drown your sorrows and THEN get a new dude. I won't deny-the guy's a fox. As are most of the men who fill Jordan Catalano mold. But ladies, please!, hunky does not a husband make. Just look at them. What's wrong with that? The Jonas Brothers use that tactic, right? And from my mere two decades on this planet I can tell you that you will never ever ever ever never fix him. IT AIN'T GONA HAPPEN. You're just wasting your childbearing years on some brodouche who doesn't care enough about you to fix HIMSELF. You may be into all the drama that a Jordan Catalano brings to the table, but I just find it tiring. I have a hard time mustering the energy to go to the grocery store and do laundry in the same day, add saving someone's brooding soul to the list? No, thanks.

Say it with me now...Jordan Catalanooo

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


I cannot express how welcome this week has been! Taking 18 hours plus an internship this semester is quite an undertaking and it has been very difficult to have any spare time. When I'm not in class or at work I'm doing homework or sleeping. So this week has been fantastic. I had one day where I actually slept past noon and then literally did nothing all day. Blissful oblivion.

On Monday, on of my very best friends, Liz, and I decided to take a roadtrip to Galveston. Our friend Issac who lives there invited us down and his family has a beach house. Meaning we get to stay for free. The word "free" equates to "abra-fucking-cadabra" in the mind of a college student. So Liz and I jumped on the opportunity. And come on? Why would I pass up a chance to take a roadtrip? So on Monday afternoon I ventured the 2 hours to College Station to get Liz then we got our customary Chicken Express sweet tea, plugged in the GPS and settled in for the 3 hour drive to the island.

This three day vacation was exactly what I needed! Yesterday Liz and I woke up around noon, went to meet Isaac at his karate studio, got some lunch then laid out on the beach until the sun started to fade. That night we donned some fierce heels and Isaac took us out to one of the local clubs.

We headed back to the mainland today with tanner skin and lighter souls.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

354 Days

Disclaimer: this is not a funny post at all. So you should probably just pass over it. I just needed to get it out of my system. 

My 20th birthday is on on the 21st of this month so it's in 8 days which means it has been 354 days since my last birthday. I've been thinking a lot about the past year and I can't even seem to wrap my head around everything that has happened. My life as changed 1000% since this time last year. And in the beginning I thought it was going to be the worst year of my life. In a lot of ways it was, but out of disaster comes really great things. Once you know you can't go any further down the rabbit hole you realize that things can only get better. You know that saying "if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans?" well I never understood that until this year. I had all these plans for this past year and most of them were filled with one specific person. But on my birthday all those plans disappeared. I blamed a whole lot of people for that day, but it was ultimately my fault. I brought it upon myself, but that didn't make what I had to go through any less painful. In all honesty, not a day goes by that I don't wish I could go back and erase everything that led to that experience. There is still a hole in my heart a year later because I miss the person I can't stop calling my best friend.

In some strange "everything-happens-for-a-reason" way I'm glad I went through this year because I got to meet some completely amazing people and, more importantly, I got to meet myself. If I had never been hurt I wouldn't have had to examine all the choices I had made. I wouldn't have gotten to see that pointing out other people's flaws to cover up my own is the biggest betrayal in a friendship. And I wouldn't have gotten to know the fantastic people with whom I now surround myself. I don't think they know how much they've meant to me and how much I really appreciate them opening up their lives to me. Without them I don't know where I would be now.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Tea and Crumpets

So for Lent I was planning to give up reality TV. About 10 minutes ago, however, I discovered an every-episode-ever Intervention marathon. So...that didn't really last past the ashes. I'll have to think of something else to give up. Reality TV is just too compelling. I'll cut down, but let's face it, by life is boring and the lives of teen moms, spoiled housewives, and people who hoard is much more entertaining. I've made peace with that fact. I know it's trashy television, but you have to enjoy the little things.

I've been thinking about it lately, and I've compiled a short list entitled Reasons Why the British Are a Superior People here are some of my favorites:
1. Tea time. We have cigarette breaks. They have breaks where people stop what they are doing and drink tea. That sounds like my nirvana.
2. The accent. Need I elaborate?
3. They have produced some of the greatest people in existence: The Beatles, Shakespeare, Sean Connery, David Beckham (and his body). Just to name a few!

Today I discovered yet another reason why British people are a hell of a lot cooler than us: they have a Dumbledore stamp. Yeah, you heard me, a postage stamp bearing the image of Dumbledore. I love Harry Potter and I'm not ashamed in the slightest about it. I would use the shit out of those stamps. I would mail everything. I would neglect my email accounts so that I could use my Dumbledore stamps. Come on United States Postal Service, get on my level. Pine cones, really? The Liberty Bell? That's original. Everyone complains that people never mail letters anymore. Well maybe if we spiced things up a bit we would see a hand-written letter revival. Food for thought.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Suzie Homemaker

Anyone who knows me is aware that I'm pretty into cooking, but I like things that are easy and don't require a long attention span. If you need some spaghetti, I'm your girl. If you're craving a bomb grilled cheese sandwich, look no further. And I can make baked goods all day long, but things that involve serious commitment are not really my thing. However I have decided to start making actual food for myself. I am adult after all and will actually need this life skill right about nowish. I'm going to start small with some old school favorites and I will test everything on my hungry roommate.

Tonight was the beginning! I grew up watching my mom make mashed potatoes for every major holiday. She's the Betty Crocker of homemade mashed potatoes. They're awesome. I count the days until Christmas, not for the gifts, but because I know I'll wake up to the sound of the hand held mixer whipping those potatoes into fluffy, buttery goodness. So I say to myself "Self, you've watched mom do it for 20 years, how hard could it be?" I did not use a recipe. Some might say mistake, but I say who needs a recipe? I made them from scratch adding a pinch of butter and some salt. THEY WERE AWESOME. Mom-you've got some competition. Thanksgiving is mine this year. Deal with it. I would gladly post a picture of said fabulous potatoes, but Caroline and I devoured every last bit without even bothering to use plates. Just forks. Standing in the kitchen eating out of the mixing bowl. That's how we do it in our apartment.

After tonight's success I will be making all kinds of delicious food. So stay tuned for the deliciousness that is sure to ensue and maybe I'll invite you to dinner.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Boys Are Back In Town

First things first, Mr. Bear and Mr. Bunny have returned! It's a pre-Christmas miracle. I don't know how it happened, but I'm not going to ask questions. I'm just going to be stoked that they are back in my loving arms. They could not have come at a better time. Also in the package was an M&M dispenser. Like small gumball machine but with M&Ms. And my mom sent giant bags of M&Ms so if you get a craving for some, you know where to go. She also sent other candy and a Target giftcard. I hit the mom jackpot. But mostly I'm just happy to have my dudes back.

Now on a completely unrelated topic, I just realized that I do something and I'm wondering if other people do it also...whenever I watch documentary type shows that disturb me I automatically go into "that will never be me" mode. For instance, I am currently watching Hoarders and about 15 minutes into the show I started cleaning my room. It's not messy at all. I had one pair of shoes out in the open and a dress that I wore earlier hung over a chair. But according to these hoarders, that's how it all starts. Just a little clutter here and there, then a little more, then you can't remember if you have carpet or hardwood and you realize that it's been about two years since your saw your pet hamster. THAT WILL NEVER BE ME. I'm not a neat freak by any means (my parents and roommates will back me up on that), but I certainly clean on a regular basis and if you can't see any sliver of the floor that's an issue. Just sayin.